The Secret of Self-Confidence

Have you ever left a comment on a blog?  On this one perhaps?

What about in a discussion forum of some kind?

At first, there is a tiny bit of self-doubt that can cause many people to hold back.  It’s the same fear that causes you to not speak up in a meeting even though you disagree or have a great idea.

I have been there.

Before I started blogging about project management in 2006, I went through one phase where I was reading a lot of blogs but never commenting.  If I had a question about something, I was afraid people would think my question was stupid.

Gradually I began leaving little comments here and there, and eventually started commenting a lot.  It was about 2 years from when I started reading (without commenting) until I started my own blog.

It was a progression of self-confidence

In just about any realm of life, we all go through this same experience.  Some go through it quickly, and others slowly.

You may have heard about the concept of broadening your sphere of influence a little at a time.  What I’m talking about is broadening your sphere of confidence by taking small steps outside your own comfort zone.  Put your toe in the water, then when you’ve discovered that wasn’t so bad make a habit of it and then explore a bit further.

Now that I’m mentoring and training people, it seems like a completely different world back in 2004 when I “discovered” formal project management for the first time.

You will mess up

Just accept it.  If you are consciously making a decision to step outside your comfort zone, just be prepared for failure.  It’s going to happen at least some of the time, if not half or even most of the time.

Perfection is the enemy of progress, and if you wait until you are comfortable to do something new, you will never do it.

Stick your neck out.  You have to learn to say “oh well, at least I tried.  Tomorrow I will try again.”  The only failure is giving up.

Do you want to improve?  Do you want to be a better project manager, or become a project manager in the first place?  Put a system in place to make it happen.  No giant leaps….small steps.  Every day.

Your Comfort List

On a sheet of paper, create a list of relevant areas of knowledge and activities that you are comfortable with.  This is your comfort list.  Kind of like comfort food, only with a lot less calories.

Your Work in Progress List

Now make a list beside it of knowledge and skills you are shaky on, but would like to improve on.  That’s your “work in progress” list and can serve as a way to be sure you are working on things to improve yourself.  Prioritize these items based on what will have the most positive impact on your life if you were to master it.

Break these down, depending on their complexity, into specific actions you can take to achieve them.  Keep in mind a reasonable, sustainable pace of progress for yourself.  For me, it’s 15 minutes a day, every day on self improvement.  Sure, I miss days sometimes.  But I’m human, that’s exactly what this post is about.  We are all just human, not perfect.

Your Future Goals List

The last list is for SPECIFIC objectives.  After you make this list, pick one of the items and move it to your “work in progress” list.  If you have these three lists side by side, starting with comfort on the left, work in progress in the middle, and future on the right, your goal is to move items from right to left.  But not in a day.  Gradually, over time.  Sit down monthly and revise your list.  Now you have accountability to yourself.

If you want to be a project manager some day but you aren’t yet, what kinds of skills and experience do you need?  These should all be on your lists…a road map towards mastery and progress towards your goals.

Whatever your goals are, go for them.  But don’t just think about them.

Do something about them, every day.

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Tagged as: confidence, new project manager, project manager career